Slow Cooked Adventures with Charlotte

Now, if you know me, you know I love a slow cooked meal. Gosh darn it, it's one of life's joys. Imagine this: you've spent a long, hard day at work and you travel home. You put the key in the lock, turn, and push the door open. Your senses are bombarded with the welcoming smell of slow-cooked food, ready for the taking. Smells glorious, doesn't it?

I specialise in two slow-cooked meals: sausage, potatoes and veg, and bolognese, with the latter being a more recent discovery. It never dawned on me to make bolognese in a slow cooker. What a revelation! I'm yet to perfect my recipe, but I wanted to share my discovery because HOT DAMN it's good!

WHAT YOU MAY WANT TO USE BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO BECAUSE THIS ISN'T AN ACTUAL RECIPE:

- Slow cooker

- Mince (I opt for 250g of beef)

- Veg (Just went for mushrooms because of my tiny cooker)

- Passata (I find 500g is enough the amount I cook)

- Tomato Puree

- 1 vegetable stock cube

- Mixed herbs

- Worcester sauce

WHAT I DIDDLY DO:

1) I whack the mince in the slow cooker.

2) I chop the mushrooms maybe in half (they shrink the cooker) (I did a read through and thought that was too funny not to keep in) and sprinkle those on top. The smaller you chop your mushrooms, the more your cooker's going to shrink.

3) I carefully pour the whole passata carton into the cooker. Using a wooden spoon, I try my best to "mix" (very loose term there) it together, breaking up the meat and distributing the passata evenly among it's neighbours.

4) I guesstimate how much tomato puree I need. No one ever truly knows the correct amount, so maybe close your eyes and use spiritual guidance to help you.

5) Pop the vegetable stock cube in.

6) Obtain a smattering of mixed herbs and delicately place each individual herb into the mix.

7) Whack God knows how much Worcester sauce into the mix. (This is a new step for me and I'm yet to figure out how much I need. My last batch proved that I used too much.) Try and give it a little stir again.

8) Place lid on cooker, a tea towel on the lid (I don't know why I do this, my family always have), and switch on to a low heat.

9) Go to work for 10 ish hours. (Not a directly recommended time)

THE RESULT:

Tomato-y, meaty goodness. I cooked pasta with mine like any normal human being would. Didn't have any cheese because I'm an amateur (this has now been corrected). Didn't cook spaghetti because I forgot I had some. Apparently red wine is also good to make it rich but I think I need to up my Worcester sauce game first. 

Thanks to two of my friends (so far) I've developed this recipe (this isn't a fucking Oscar speech Charlotte) so thanks to those guys for the tips! Did this get too weird for a food post? Yes. Do I regret it? No.